Before.I.Flew.

Blaady hell (I don't like to swear so substituting the 'o's for 'a's makes it ok, right? Good.) So yes, BLAADY HELL, I really havnt been living my bloggin lifestyle the last few weeks, eh? I feel ashamed, however there is a reason for taking my 'part-time bloggaar' personna to another level - I am in South Africa! No jokes kids, no jokes. And when one is in South Africa, is one spending time on a computer?? I think not. One is rather contemplating a mountain or chilling with a zebra (or at least I am - I'm sure there are some other possible activities to do here, but personally I'm all about the mountains & the strippy chappies). Many tales, TAILS (of a zebra) & snaps to follow, but before news of here surfaces, I must catch up on my life before I fled the Motherland.

If you have been reading my blog or indeed spoken to me I'm sure you know that I have quite a 'thing' about pennies. Yes, I said PENNIES not PENISES, okay? What dirty minds you have. Over the last few months I became rather obsessed with picking up pennies from the street. Walking along, my eyes would constantly be darting here & there, looking for something shiny to pop into my pocket & bring me good luck. In the evening it would be transferred into a glass jar to save for a rainy day.
Just before I left London I decided that the rainy day had come - it was time to find out what the street had earned me. I know I have a tendency to involve myself in painstaking tasks - separating individual tiny beads according to their colour, cleaning the oven - but I drew the line at penny counting. Instead, I took my somewhat heavy load of coins to Sainsbury's on a mission to use the coin converter machine. This machine was something of a fantasy to me - when my friend told me about it I was sure something so magical couldn't be real - but I tell you now, it was real. IT WAS AMAZING.

I threw my coins in & after the most wonderful jangling noises, out popped a receipt telling me the exact break down of what I had! And guess what? The street gave me £39.11. Thank you street.
Street, you've made me rich.

Here are a few street pennies that I'm sure have seen better days...It's a hard life living on the street, huh penny?

THE FACTS

Something else rather magical occurred in my last few days in London. I had many bits & bobs to get done before my trip – to start with I needed to buy a suitcase – but all these matters were unimportant when the chance of a life drawing class came up. Of course, who needs to pack when there’s a naked body in a room with lots of paper, pens & ink? I knew I wouldn’t be going to a class for a while, so it was very important for me to get my last fix. When I arrived at the class, a DRESSED lady was posing in the centre of the room – the life model hadn’t turned up! I couldn’t blaady believe it! I waited in irritation, hoping she’d arrive, but when she didn’t & a clothed man took the place of the woman to do the most ridiculous poses in the centre of the room I decided to leave…but then…I had an epiphany – I’ll pose! Of course!

I’ve always wanted to be a life model & it seemed like fate – my last class for a while & there was no model. So I whipped off my clothes – panties & all and modelled in front of the class I am usually part of…some half hour poses, other 15 mins, some quick ones…I have to say that it was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I was no longer the artist, I WAS THE ART. It felt so natural. Everyone in the class commented on my stillness…they thought I must have done it before. I hadn’t, but my gosh I WILL! It’s my new career, seriously. My new career in my birthday suit.

 It was so cool looking at all the drawings of me…One chap – a rather large and slightly pervy – gave me one of his quick watercolours to keep. I scanned the pick for you all to see. Oh, you lucky lot - YOU’VE SEEN ME NAKED!